By Tanni Haas, Ph.D. | Contributor
While experiencing some stress is a part of life, excessive and prolonged stress can significantly harm your children’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. So, how can you shield your children from being overwhelmed by stress? Experts provide several key recommendations:
Prioritize Your Own Well-Being and Demonstrate Calmness
It may seem counterintuitive, but ensuring your own well-being and managing your stress levels is crucial. “Stress is really contagious,” remarks child psychotherapistLynn Lyons, author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents. “When parents are under pressure, their kids feel it too.” Staying composed and exemplifying stress-free behaviors is essential for your children to follow suit. “Just as flight attendants instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before helping others,” notes child psychologistDr. Jamie Howard, “parents must first address their own emotional and physical needs to better support their kids.” This entails avoiding prolonged periods of hunger or fatigue and seeking support from adults when necessary. “By taking care of yourself and allocating time for your own needs,” states child psychology professorDr. Amy Przeworski, “you demonstrate to your child the importance of self-care. Children emulate their parents’ behaviors, so it’s vital to consider your own psychological health when addressing your child’s.”
“Children learn behaviors from watching their parents. So when you think about your child’s psychological well-being think about your own as well.”
Dr. Amy Przeworski
Teach Your Kids About Stress Recognition
It’s important to educate your children about stress—what it entails and how to identify it. According to Mrs. Lyons, teaching your kids to “understand their bodies and the physiological responses to stress” is essential. Children should learn to distinguish between typical reactions and signs of stress. “For instance, while it’s normal for a child to feel nervous on their first day at school,” Mrs. Lyons explains, “consistently leaving class due to a stomach ache or waking up with headaches indicates there may be too much stress.” Child psychotherapistKatie Hurley, author of The Happy Kids Handbook, agrees: “To help children make connections, draw a body outline and identify areas where stress causes issues.” Discuss common physical stress symptoms like headaches and stomachaches, helping them understand their responses to stressors. As Mrs. Hurley articulates, “the more kids grasp the relationship between symptoms and stress, the better they can seek assistance.”
Foster Resilience in Your Kids
In addition to recognizing stress, it’s beneficial to cultivate resilience in your kids. A practical strategy involves teaching them to take deep breaths in stressful scenarios. “Deep breathing can have genuine physiological effects on the body,” states licensed mental health counselorJanice Halloran, author of The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook. “Stress triggers the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response, making breathing shallower. To help your body return to a calmer state, practice taking deep breaths.” Dr. Przeworski also advises practicing relaxation methods, like visualizing a serene place, such as a beach or a hammock, and focusing on associated sounds, smells, and sensations.
“Taking deep breaths can actually have a physiological effect on the body.”
Janice Halloran, licensed mental health counselor
Encouraging your children to confront fears rather than avoid them can help build their resilience. Licensed psychotherapistAmy Morin, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, emphasizes this by referencing a child’s fear of elevators. If a child is scared of an elevator and you consistently suggest taking the stairs, you may inadvertently signal that they aren’t capable of facing their fears. “This can lead them to think, ‘I’m not strong enough. If I’m afraid, I shouldn’t do it. My parents doubt me, so why should I believe in myself?’” Children learn from observing their parents. “When children are surrounded by resilient adults,” states child psychologistDr. Lyn O’Grady, “both through their behaviors and the explicit teaching of social and emotional skills, they are more likely to develop resilience themselves.”
Encourage Stress-Free Pursuits
Lastly, establish stress-free activities your kids can engage in when they start feeling overwhelmed. Mrs. Hurley recommends creating “stress-free zones” or “relaxation corners” in the home where kids can immerse themselves in their favorite activities. Likewise, Mrs. Lyons encourages parents to promote “pure play” activities—those without competition, goals, or performance pressure, such as biking, hiking, or running—allowing kids to unwind and enjoy themselves without stress.
About the Author: Tanni Haas is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College
Editor’s Note: This content is not meant to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and does not serve as medical or professional guidance.
