By Christa Melnyk Hines | Contributor
Looking to infuse more happiness into your household this year? Consider adjusting your perspective. Embracing a more positive mindset not only enriches your life but also impacts how your children navigate their daily challenges.
“Kids observe their parents closely. They absorb moods and beliefs. An optimistic mindset is infectious—so is a pessimistic one,” shares psychologist Dr. Kristen Hensley.
Rewarding positivity. Cultivating a positive attitude enhances productivity, boosts energy and motivation, alleviates stress, elevates self-esteem, promotes better health, and enriches relationships.
“Maintaining a positive outlook helps foster flexibility in our thinking and can make finding solutions to challenges easier,” Hensley explains. “Searching for the bright side of life can contribute to building mental resilience and an overall optimistic outlook.”
“Finding silver linings may not always be feasible, especially during times of grief or crisis. It’s crucial to be gentle with yourself, allow time to heal, and seek support.”
Enhance self-awareness. Keeping track of your moods can provide insights into how best to care for yourself each day.
Jessica Mostaffa, a specialist in early childhood mental health and therapist for mothers facing depression, advocates this method to help her clients approach their emotional well-being with mindfulness.
Compile a happiness list. Create a list of activities that lift your spirits when you’re feeling low. It could include taking a warm shower, watching a funny movie, gardening, or going for a walk with a friend.
“When mothers prioritize their self-care, they experience a reduction in depressive symptoms and often report improved relationships and interactions with their children, partners, and others at home,” Mostaffa notes.
Encourage your children to generate their own lists as well. When emotions run high, they can refer to their lists for healthy coping methods, such as shooting hoops, enjoying music, drawing, reading, or confiding in a trusted friend.
Reinterpret negative thoughts. Instead of dismissing them, engage with the critical thoughts that may arise.
Mostaffa suggests reflecting with grounding questions like: “What evidence supports this thought?” “What evidence contradicts it?” “What’s the worst outcome?” “What’s the best outcome?” and “What’s the most probable outcome?”
Create a list of activities that help you feel better when you’re feeling depleted.
Be mindful of your language. Pay attention to how you express your obligations to both yourself and others. For example, instead of declaring, “It’s my job to ensure the kids complete their homework,” you might frame it as, “It’s my privilege to help ensure that my children are on the right track.”
“These subtle changes can have a significant impact on our experiences,” advises Carla McClellan, an ACC-certified life coach.
Express gratitude. Promote positive thinking during meals by inviting family members to share three things they are grateful for and the reasons behind their choices. Reflection at bedtime can also be beneficial.
“Daily affirmations can be powerful,” Hensley emphasizes. “These don’t have to be monumental; a child might express gratitude for a cupcake enjoyed during a classmate’s birthday celebration because it made her happy. The goal is to nurture this mindset until it becomes a natural part of daily life.”
Design a vision board. Visualize the aspirations you and your family hope to achieve in the upcoming year. Create a collective family vision board or individual ones. Grab some old magazines, scissors, and glue, and cut out inspiring words, images, and quotes.
Engage in discussions about questions like: “What are our goals for the coming year?” “What changes do we wish to see in our lives?” “What would our ideal vacation entail?”
Set intentions. In addition to your daily task lists, consider creating a “to-be” list. Each morning, determine your intention by asking yourself, “Who do I choose to be today?” Kind? Loving? Generous? Enthusiastic?
“An intention serves as a focused direction for our energy. By defining who we are willing to be, we can manifest that,” McClellan explains.
Encourage quiet time. Unplugged moments of silence are essential for fostering creativity, enhancing problem-solving skills, and alleviating stress.
Consider winding down as a family before bedtime. Engage in reading, drawing, or watching a show together. This quality time provides children an outlet to share their worries, concerns, or daily stories.
Evaluate positives and negatives. If your child is struggling with a situation at school or home, suggest they write a positive thought on one side of a card and a negative thought on the opposite side.
“Remind kids that it’s perfectly normal to have negative thoughts and feelings. The goal is to ensure they don’t dominate our lives.”
Dr. Kristen Hensley
“From there, you can discuss with your child how each thought influences their feelings and the potential consequences of both,” Hensley advises. “Emphasize that it’s alright to experience negative thoughts and feelings, as long as they aren’t allowed to govern our lives.”
Engage in play. Experts agree that families who engage in play together generally experience greater happiness and deeper connections. Whether it’s tossing a football, playing cards, dancing to music in your living room, or inventing games during a car ride, play strengthens familial bonds.
Find activities that resonate with your family. “Engaging in these types of rituals and activities is crucial as they promote a positive mindset, cultivate healthy thinking patterns, enhance interaction with the world, and aid children in connecting the dots between thoughts, feelings, and actions,” Hensley concludes.
Additional resources:
The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
Simple Fun for Busy People: 333 Free Ways to Enjoy Your Loved Ones More in the Time You Have by Gary Krane, Ph.D.
“Inside Out” – an animated Pixar film that explores emotions
EDITOR’S NOTE: Depression is a serious condition. Please consult your healthcare provider if you or a loved one is facing ongoing sadness, changes in appetite, sleep disruptions, diminished energy, or thoughts of self-harm.
RESOURCES: https://www.granthalliburton.org/resources
