By Jeff Anderson | Contributor
Divorce can begin in various ways; some individuals consult a lawyer first, pay a retainer, and sign agreements to initiate proceedings. Others may first engage in discussions with an attorney before returning home to gather necessary documents for divorce preparation. If you have reason to believe your partner might be planning a divorce, watch for these signs.
Children
Imagine you and your partner have always shared parenting duties equally—dad takes kids to soccer, and mom handles dance classes, while both help with homework. Suddenly, there’s a noticeable change: one parent assumes all responsibilities—shuttling the children to activities, scheduling medical appointments, setting up playdates, preparing meals, and putting them to bed. It appears as though one parent has stepped up as a superhero, even if both are still present in the household. Over time, this shift becomes difficult to overlook.
Similar patterns may emerge in other aspects of the children’s lives. Mom’s side of the family may be sidelined as the kids spend more time with dad’s relatives. Moreover, dad may begin enrolling the children in extracurricular activities he previously ignored. He might also establish a savings account for them and contribute substantial amounts, signaling a potential shift in priorities.
Another warning sign could be if your children begin seeing a therapist for the first time. A spouse considering divorce may be thinking strategically about potential court proceedings, as an expert therapist can provide insights into your children’s wellbeing that might be utilized during trials. If the children have received guidance from one parent before these sessions, they may express sentiments that are not entirely genuine, which could disadvantage you.
Money
Your financial situation can also provide clues about your spouse’s intentions. If you notice diminishing balances in your bank accounts despite stable jobs and unchanged expenses, this may indicate that your partner is siphoning off funds and stashing them away in a private account. A more overt hint would be if your spouse has opened a new account to deposit money inaccessible to you, possibly preparing for a contentious legal battle. This financial reserve can be critical for hiring legal representation and starting anew.
It’s possible that one partner is trying to safeguard financial resources while minimizing what the other has access to. Keep an eye out for behaviors like opening a P.O. Box, applying for new credit cards with higher limits, or canceling joint credit cards. If it seems your spouse is methodically collecting financial documents and bills, they may have been advised to take such steps.
Additional Indicators
If you’ve noticed your spouse keeping a journal or documenting more activity through audio or video recordings, it may indicate that they are following advice from someone who is familiar with divorce proceedings.
Changes in your spouse’s social media behavior could also suggest issues in the marriage. For instance, if their posts take on a more positive tone, it may be worth revisiting their previous posts to check for any that they might want to erase before a judge sees them.
Additionally, if your spouse has altered passwords or is being more private about their phone usage—or if they start using legal terms like “best interest,” “community property,” or “no-fault”—these could be signs of engagement with a divorce attorney. Consider consulting with a certified family law attorney to understand your alternatives and determine the best path forward.
Editor’s Note: Jeff Anderson is a partner at Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP, a family law firm. To arrange a consultation, call 972.963.5459 or visit www.ondafamilylaw.com.
